A Messed Up Fantasy Story
by Luel
Summary: Grab a bundle of animemanga characters put them in a blender with my crazy mind, which was very bored at the time and a fantasy background blend on high speed, you then get a really messed up Fantasy story. Be warned you may be offended.
1. Enter the nightmare

Disclaimer: I don't own anything....or do I? Mwahahaha...

A note from the author...which would be ME! Sw33t!

I wrote this a year ago during English class....when I was too bored to learn. I wrote it with my best friend and me as the semi-main characters. And there's something's in here that were inside jokes or just things that we found funny about movies and such....like 28 days later. Have you ppl seen that? It was hilarious! Well, enough of that, enjoy! I hope you like it if you don't I'll just die! Nah I'm just yanking ya....I won't die....I'll probably just hunt you down and stuff you full of leaves....and no that was not a threat!

**A Messed Up Fantasy Story**  
  
Once upon a time in a land far, far, far, and far away, A handsome prince by the name of Hayate, a former leafe knight. Went in search of his love Princess Niki, who had been captured by the evil, depraved, and sexy (mind you), Inuyasha. Princess Niki wept day in and day out, because even though she was sleeping in the same bed as a hot half demon, she couldn't bare to be away from her prince Hayate (and because Inuyasha was smitten with that bitch Kagome). So on and on she cried for her prince, she even sent a carrier pigeon, but sadly that failed, because it really was just a picture of a bird on it, so on and on she cried for her prince to save her. Prince Hayate heard her cry with his muscular ears and set out on a perilous journey to find her, but it proved more difficult than expected especially with all the demon larva popping up every where. So Prince Hayate sought the help of his best friend and Queen for help. The king Sasame and his queen, Tai. When Queen Tai heard that her best friend had been captured she had to take action and since her king Sasame insisted that she stay behind, proclaiming that it was just too dangerous for a woman. Queen Tai, not going to stand for that sexist comment went to her friend Sesshoumaru, which had a deep hatred for the demon Inuyasha already.  
  
So as Prince Hayate and King Sasame went to the forest of Sabador to look for the witch of "all bad things and stuff" to guide them to the castle of Inuyasha. Meanwhile Queen Tai and Sesshoumaru went the other direction to find, the demon lord Raenef and the great and eminent demon Eclipse for help. When she found them and they promised to help, Queen Tai was very happy and I mean very happy. I think you all know why. wink wink, but she resisted for the sake of staying pure for her King Sasame. Back at the castle of Inuyasha, Princess Niki tried to sneak out, but failed as a whoring little Sango and a perverted Miroku reeled her back with a lasso. Niki struggled, but Miroku threatened to suck her up in his air void, so she maybe not happily, but willingly cooperated.  
  
Meanwhile, In the Sabador Forest Prince Hayate and King Sasame found the little witch Sara Mudo, but Sara the witch refused to go along with them, because her love for the wizard Setsuna also her brother and when Hayate and Sasame heard this they cringed for a good five minutes. After they cringed they promised to help get Setsuna back, but the problem was that an angel named Rosiel had kidnapped him to get the angel Alexiel to awaken. So grunting and whining Prince Hayate and King Sasame went with the witch Sara to save her love/brother the Wizard Setsuna from the flaming fruit Rosiel. Back to Queen Tai as she desperately struggled to keep her hands off the very hot group of her demon companions, but she remembered that her love was Sasame and if he ever found out then she would be beheaded and that thought kept her in place. So with the demons Sesshoumaru, Eclipse, and Raenef, Queen Tai headed for Mt. Emphaza where the Demon Naraku lived. They didn't know this, they actually thought it was the home of Inuyasha, but it wasn't. Princess Niki found her chance to escape when Rath the Dragon Knight of Fire showed up insisting that he kill Inuyasha. So while they were battling it out Niki slipped away, but suddenly ran into someone. It was Ashitaka and his cute, adorable, cunning little elk that I have forgotten the name of. She asked him if he could give her a lift to the Kingdom of Hearts where her love Hayate was, or so she thought. He agreed to take her, but only to the Fairy Forest, because he was banned from the Kingdom of Hearts for embarrassing reasons that he couldn't reveal. So off they rode. At the same time. Queen Tai and her troupe were at the edge of the Water Forest, when Thatz popped out of the bushes followed by Rune. They realized that Sesshoumaru and Eclipse were demons and a battle begun. Of course no one thought Raenef was a threat so he went into a corner and started crying about how he'll never become a true demon lord and strike terror in the hearts of peasants. Queen Tai went and comforted him and said that he would someday....

Will Princess Niki ever be reunited with her Prince Hayate? Can Queen Tai keep her hands off the hot group of demons? Will Hayate and Sasame save Setsuna and ever get back on track? Is it humanly or even supernaturally possible for me to write a crappier chapter? All this and maybe more if I feel like it...in the next shitty chapter of "A Messed Up Fantasy Story"!


	2. Tea Time

**Chapter two  
**  
Princess Niki said good-bye to Ashitaka when they arrived at the Fairy Forest and then he rode off into the sunset. Strangely it was high noon. She wandered the forest looking for a village or town any civilization whatsoever, but only came to more forest and trees and little furry rodents that made her paranoid. Princess Niki started to think how she should have asked for directions before Ashitaka rode off, but that was when she ran into a notebook. Niki stared at it with shiny eyes and slowly picked it up. The notebook suddenly started to wiggle and it told her to get her hands off his danger zone. Princess Niki dropped the notebook with a shriek and before she ran off screaming like a mad man she screamed "I'm not crazy!!"

Queen Tai continued to comfort the sad sobbing Raenef as the Dragon Knights Thatz and Rune fought the demons Sesshoumaru and Eclipse. That's when Queen Tai went up to Thatz and took his sword away from him then went up to Rune and slapped him making him stop the tempest. Both Dragon Knights sobbed while the demons laughed, but then Tai slapped them too. So she was standing in the middle of a group of sobbing hot guys. Tai explained that they were on a quest to save her friend, the Princess Niki. When the Dragon Knights heard this they stopped sobbing and asked in shocked voices if it was the same Princess Niki that was to be wed to the Prince Hayate and Tai nodded. That's when the Dragon Knights told them that they were also on a quest to save the Princess Niki and that's how they all became friends. Tai and the troupe and their new companions all started to Mt. Emphaza to save Niki...heehee too bad they don't know that's not Inuyasha's castle...bwahahahaha!

Back to Prince Hayate and King Sasame. They followed blindly the bitch...I mean the _witch_ Sara to the temple of Rosiel. When they got there, they busted into the room and demanded that Wizard Setsuna be released or they will make flowers grow! But then to their shocking surprise Sara knocked both of them out with a lamp and a skillet to the back of the head. (where she got these things, nobody knows, but it's rumored that she has Felix's bag.)

Inuyasha and Rath fought until the next day and into the next day when finally the monk Miroku said, "Everyone that wants to live get behind me!" Then he opened his air void, but something wasn't right...Rath too was behind him.

"Ahem...excuse me, but what do you think you are doing?" Miroku asked annoyed.

"You said "Anyone that wants to live get behind me." So I did!" Rath shrugged.

Miroku fumed screaming. AIR VOID! AIR VOID! AIR VOID!!! He unleashed the mighty and awesome power of the hole in his hand in every which direction. Rath walked away muttering how unfair it was that he was shunned just because he wanted to kill them, but then just as he was walking out he perked up his ears and heard the most horrible agonizing scream that made you want to stab pencils in your ears, but it was so enchanting and Rath knew he had to find who was making these screams and so he strapped on his jet pack and booked it to the Water Forest where he found...

When Sasame and Hayate awoke they were on the floor, but what really freaked them out was that they were wearing collars with chains attached to it bolted to the wall. They both screamed until Hayate passed out from lack of oxygen and Sasame was close to fainting as well, when Rosiel came into the room. Hayate came to and tried throwing his boot at Rosiel, but Krayon stopped it in mid-air. Hayate laughed.

"You think you can keep us here? Ha! We are Leafe knights! Hahahahaha...!"

"So? I'm Inorganic angel Rosiel and he's the great demon lord Krayon."

"...shit...he's got a point! WWWAAAAAHHH!!!!" Hayate sniveled.

Sasame had to slap him around a few times to make him shut up. Sara and Setsuna came into the room holding hands and once again Hayate and Sasame cringed. When they were done with cringing they yelled "Traitor!" She simply told them that she made a deal with Rosiel to bring them here in exchange for her love Setsuna. Again some more cringing then Sasame threw his shoe at them and this time it hit Sara in the head and she fell back crying. Setsuna glared at Krayon and screamed why he didn't use his power to stop that shoe like the last one. Krayon shrugged and told him that he didn't care about that bitch...I mean witch Sara, he only stopped the boot from hitting Rosiel's beautiful face. Hayate and Sasame suddenly got a feeling of dread and were scared of what they might do to them. (and you can guess what they were thinking.) Krayon started to caress Rosiel's face and Rosiel played with the frilliness on Krayon's clothes. Hayate and Sasame begged them to kill them before they did anything.

Rath stopped at the Water Forest and kneeled beside what he was looking for. He scooped her up in his arms and hugged her. "Oh, my darling love! I finally found you! Come away with me!"

Meanwhile, Queen Tai's group of Dragon Knights and demons came to the  
top of Mt. Emphaza and busted into the castle, but to their confusion  
there was only a baboon. Raenef excitedly started playing with the  
baboon when it kicked him away and talked "I'm not a baboon, you dim-  
wit!"

"AAHHH it talks!...cool..." Raenef mused pulling on its ears.

"Silence, fool!" Naraku shouted slapping his hand away.

"...How...how DARE you shush ME, VERMIN!!??"

Everyone burst into laughter and Eclipse turned his head in shame. Then the laughing stopped suddenly and Sesshoumaru made a freaky kung fu scream and lunged at Naraku. While He muttered that Naraku never gave back that Shikon shard and that arm really didn't do shit. The dragon knights stood there making funny faces while Raenef again ran into a corner in fetal position and cried how he'll never make Eclipse proud. Then out of the blue the Mad Hatter popped up and asked

"Would you all like some tea? It's my unbirthday you know." They all shrugged and Thatz, Rune, Eclipse, and Tai sat down and started sipping tea.

"You know now that you mention it...I just remembered that it's my unbirthday, too!"

"Mine too!" Everyone shouted and realized that it was everyones unbirthday, except for Rune. Poor Rune turns two hundred today.

They sat some more and sipped tea some more and The mad hatter mentioned that he was dieing of cancer and then they kept drinking tea and talked about what Ruwalk should wear to the Christmas party. Raenef continued to cry.

"Yes my love I've found you! What is your lovely name?" Rath asked hearts in his eyes.

"My name...my name is...notebook."

"Notebook...what a beautiful name." Rath smiled.

"You know that I'm not a girl...I'm not even alive!"

"Hush my darling that heeds no importance as long as you're with me, my love."

Suddenly a priest, a band, and flowers appear.

"Do you Notebook, take Rath Illuser as your unlawfully wedded Dragon Knight?"

"...Um...sure. I do!"

"And you Rath, do you take Notebook as your loyal...notebook?"

" I do!"

"Then with the power invested in me you are now homicidal Dragon Knight and green inanimate notebook! You may write a memo!" Rath and Notebook hopped into a car and drove away to Casablanca.

"Please kill us!" Hayate begged.

"No, this isn't right! Carve my eyes out with a rusty spoon!" Sasame plead.

Rosiel and Krayon gave them strange stares.

"What are you nincompoops screeching about?!" Rosiel asked.

"Umm...what were you talking about?" they asked.

"Well, I don't know what you guys were thinking, but I'm a model for 'Deranged Vogue'!" Rosiel posed.

In the next chapter...you get to see what happens!

Remember when I asked if it was possible for me to write a crappier chapter? I think I just did it. For shame! -bows head in disgrace-

**_Leche's inner doubts and other incoherent thoughts_**

I'm not really sure if this story belongs in the pretear section...it's just a big cluster of different characters...most of them from manga's. I think I should move it somewhere else. What do you think? Should I move it and where to? What characters need to make an appearance? Should Queen Tai give in to her lust and just have hot monkey sex with her hot companions...even though it probably will be non-con? Why is the sky blue? Why does it feel like I'm being watched? Why do I ask so many questions? What is the meaning of life? Why can't I write something not totally crappy? Why am I asking you? Do you have the answers? Can you tell me the answers? _What _is Deranged Vogue? Am I being totally annoying? You know I'm not forcing you to read this? HA all of that ended with a question mark...crap...must end with question...how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would?


	3. Hello

_**Chapter three**_  
  
We pick off where we were last. Okay, so Krayon and Rosiel had just finished explaining to Hayate and Sasame that they are top male super models and that they had a shoot today for 'Deranged Vogue' and how I thought up that name...you don't want to know.  
"Okay, that explains a lot...but why did you bring us here?!" Hayate yelled/asked as he threw his other remaining boot at Sara. It hit Setsuna this time and he fell to the floor knocked out cold, Sara sobbed annoying by his side, when finally Rosiel and Krayon couldn't take the horrible sobbing.  
"Ahem...Katon!" Rosiel cried. Katon came into the room from a door at the other side of the room.  
"Yes, Sir Rosiel?" He asked with reverence kneeling.

"Katon, be a dear and get rid of those two." Rosiel pointed to an unconscious Setsuna and a weeping Sara. Katon nodded and then disappeared. BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! Hayate and Sasame looked around searching for the place the noise was coming from.  
"It sounds like a phone..." Hayate muttered.

"Sounds more like a...tractor?" Sasame said as the sound became louder. Suddenly the far side of the wall exploded and in came Katon driving a huge CAT machine. He just rolled Sara and Setsuna away making another huge hole on the other end of the wall.

"Well, now that we got that taken care of. We want you two in our shoot." Rosiel replied flipping back his long silky hair. Hayate and Sasame stared wide-eyed at them for a second then they burst out laughing so hard that they fell over and started having seizures. Rosiel and Krayon stood watching them with confused and slightly scared expressions.  
  
"So is this organic tea?" Tai asked taking another sip of tea.

"Why yes it is. Isn't it just exquisite?" the Mad Hatter replied.

"WWWAAAAHHHHHH!!! I'll never become a true demon lord! WWWAAAHHH!!!!" Raenef's crying could be heard for miles.

"Damn you! I'll cut you so bad that...you no wish I cut you so BAD!!" Sesshoumaru threatened Naraku.

"Oh yeah? With what? Your fluffy scarf? Bring it on!" Naraku responded and they continued to brawl.  
  
**Concurrently**

"Help me...anyone...somebody!!" Princess Niki yelled out. "Damn it! Even a monster would be great...at least it would be company! ...dare I say it? ...I must...gulp...HELLO!" Suddenly a bunch of scary zombie like dudes popped out of the forest like daisies!

"Oh that's better. Does anyone of you know which way out?...Hey...Hey stop that! Let go on my arm! Goddamn filthy carrion eaters!" Niki screamed.

"Well, that was a bit harsh. They have feelings too." A disembodied voice said. The zombies looked up with tears in their eyes and nodded in agreement and then went back to their business of eating Princess Niki.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." She apologized. The zombies nodded their head in acceptance.

"Wait a minute! Why am I apologizing to you freaks! I'm the one being eaten!" With that Niki let out an ear shattering scream and all the zombies clutched their heads in pain and exploded. "Bravo...Bravo!" the invisible one-armed man said as he clapped slowly.

"Oh Fucker your next if you don't tell me the way out of here!"  
  
**Concomitantly**

"HAHAHAHAHA! Whoo that was a good one...now really why did you bring us here and no more joking around." Hayate asked when he finally recovered from the seizures. Sasame was still on the floor slowly coming back from the near death experience of laughter.

"We're extremely serious!" Krayon shouted. Again Hayate fell to the floor laughing and Sasame just barely got over it and then he fell back onto the floor like before. Rosiel and Krayon rolled their eyes and sighed. Then they grabbed Hayate and Sasame and started shaking them violently.  
"Stop laughing you stupid..."

"Dumbasses!" Krayon finished the sentence for Rosiel.  
  
**Back at the castle of Naraku**

"That arm was a lemon, you good for nothing HUMAN!!!" Sesshoumaru screamed. Naraku stopped suddenly and gasped.

"What?! How dare you call me such vile things?! I'll kill you! Right after I weep." And with that Naraku went off crying like a little school girl. Sesshoumaru shrugged in confusion then he went and joined everyone else. Eclipse poured him a cup of tea. Sesshoumaru took it and took a sip. "So I hear someone's dieing of cancer?"  
  
What will happen with Rath and Notebook? Where the hell did the invisible one armed man come from? Will Raenef ever become a true demon lord? Can Hayate and Sasame get away from the evil, fruity, super models? All this and more...oh who am I kidding...I'll probably never complete this crappy story.


End file.
